WINNER - JOHNNY DEPP AS THE MAD HATTER (alice in wonderland, tim burton, 2010) Ok, I didn't have just a whole lot of time on this, and I yam sorry it took SO long to get up! Been sick for a week, and then banned for another week (bad beth...). SO! Here it finally is! And I don't care if you don't like it; this is how it's gonna end! Have a nice day! :D And coming very soon, a story that involves pixies, golf balls, ribbon dancing, and tutus!
Then all of a sudden the Mad Hatter paused, hand to his ear, as though listening. Hatter listened too, confused. He heard nothing. The adrenaline in his veins was all but gone now, leaving Hatter with nothing more than his normal energy and reflexes. He searched desperately in his pockets for another tiny vial of adrenaline, but it seemed that that had been his last bottle. Oh, it couldn’t have been! he thought urgently. I thought I had more than one bottle left! But there wasn’t any more. He would have to rely on his own skills alone.
The Mad Hatter said then, “I do believe I hear a Bandersnatch nearby! They are most frightening, you know; all big and spotty and slobbery and all. Have you ever seen a Bandersnatch?”
“A what?” Hatter asked confusedly. A Bandersnatch? he thought. What in Wonderland is that?
The Mad Hatter replied, “A Bandersnatch, you silly boy! Haven’t you ever been to Underland?”
“No…” answered Hatter slowly.
“Well then!” the Mad Hatter exclaimed delightedly, green eyes glowing even more, the effects of the giddiness bottle still obviously in play. “You simply must come with me when this delightfully wonderful fight is over! There’s tea parties, and Cheshire cats, and the White Queen. Oh! And Alice! How could I forget Alice?”
Hatter’s blood froze in his veins. Had he heard right? Had the Mad Hatter - whom he knew without a doubt was, in fact, mad - said Alice? The Alice? His Alice? That couldn’t be right. There was no way the odd man could know his Alice. She was safely back in Wonderland…wasn’t she? “A-alice?” he asked, and was alarmed to hear his voice come out as a squeak.
“Oh, yes, of course!” the Mad Hatter agreed excitedly, his feet starting to vibrate as he began his very weird dance again - none other than the Futterwhack itself. “She’s absolutely the most wonderful person I’ve met in a very long time! Except for Thomas Jefferson, of course. He got to Underland through a looking glass in his office and didn’t go back for a long time. I gave him the idea for that fancy little document, you know, because everyone knows all the best people are mad.” He grinned devilishly, and Hatter groaned. How much weirder could this day get?
Suddenly he was knocked over by a massive weight, which knocked him backwards and he hit his head very hard on the ground. Stars fluttered over his eyes for a moment, and then the sun was blocked out by a huge, spotted head and small, beady eyes that were looking down at him. A few feet away, out of sight, Hatter heard the Mad Hatter giggle wildly in a strange, high chuckle. But Hatter was worried about at the present was the giant, slobbering Bandersnatch above his head. The beast was breathing heavily, as if it had travelled a long way, and its hot, meaty breath was chugging over Hatter’s face, making him want to gag.
Then it took a giant sniff, making Hatter’s hat fly up from where it had fallen to the ground and levitate in the air near the beast’s nose before falling back down with a plop. The Mad Hatter giggled and declared giddily, “Ooh! He likes you, other me!”
Hatter just blinked.
Then the Bandersnatch leaned down and licked Hatter’s face with a gigantic blue tongue. Hatter shrieked and tried to move out of the animal’s reach, but he couldn’t; its paws were on his chest. “B-bad Bandersnatch!” Hatter bellowed, trying to cover his face with his arms.
The Bandersnatch paused, looked down at Hatter, and then started whimpering, apparently having understood his comment. Its small brown eyes filled with blue tears.
The Mad Hatter gasped, sounding deeply shocked. “Y-you made it sad!” he said accusingly, as if it were the greatest crime in the world.
“Uh…” Hatter said blankly, looking uncertainly at the whimpering Bandersnatch above his head, whose great, sweaty breaths were still chugging over Hatter’s face. “Uh…good Bandersnatch…I-it’s okay, just…just don’t do that again, okay?”
The Bandersnatch suddenly brightened. Before Hatter realised what it was doing, he was being tossed onto its back and it was running, bellowing as it burst out of the fighting ring, Hatter’s hat in its mouth. Hatter shrieked, terrified. Where was the bloody thing taking him?
As they passed the Mad Hatter, the crazy man threw Hatter’s dagger and it lodged in Hatter’s coat sleeve, pinning him to the animal, who did not seem to notice the dagger’s presence. “I win!” the Mad Hatter shouted, ecstatic.
As the Bandersnatch and Hatter began to fade from view, he turned to face Sam and Skandar, who were looking after the disappearing Hatter with dumbstruck expressions. “Er, right?” he asked.
Skandar looked at Sam, who said nothing, still looking shocked. “Uh, yeah, I guess,” Skandar said slowly.
The Mad Hatter let out an elated whoop and began dancing the Futterwhack again, this time catching Sam’s elbow and making her dance with him, which she did a little less elaborately; her head could not spin 360 degrees.
Far, far away, Hatter was being carried back to Wonderland by the Bandersnatch, who was convinced it had just met its new best friend for life.
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